August 23, 2005
AND I am now officially divorced...
So let me just tell you a little bit about my actual schedule for the last three weeks. I'm not complaining per se, I would just like for someone else to know about the time restraints that has been a big part of the insanity of my life for the past few weeks.
Monday: 6am wake up, hour commute, work all day, dance class, home at 9pm.Tuesday: 6am wake up, work all day, doctor, LSAT class, visit Livi, home no earlier than 12am
Wednesday: 6am wake up, work all day, overtime, Parker's, home no earlier than 12-12:30am
Thursday: 6am wake up, work all day, LSAT class, home at 11:30pm
Friday: 6am wake up, work all day, overtime.
Now, I know to most people this doesn't seem all that bad, and in all honesty it really isn't. It isn't anything compared to what I was working on the campaign. But the kicker is that I am indeed NOT working on a campaign for this very reason. But whatever, the above mentioned activities aren't the problem I'm having right now.
The actual problem is that in addition to this schedule I've been staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning talking to this kid whom we will call CS for now (as in chicken shit). The first couple of times I thought it was nice, getting to know a new friend, good conversation, fun hanging out. What else was I going to do, I certainly wasn't going to be actually sleeping. Apparently my body doesn't think its necessary to sleep and refuses to participate. But I digress.
So the coming over to the house every night to talk (including some subtle and some not so subtle convos basically about hooking up), the constant cute and clever text messaging ALL day, I figured that maybe in some strange world I wouldn't be incorrect in wondering whether he 'likes' me. Am I wrong? Have a made a huge leap in reasoning that this might possibly be the case? No, no I don't think so. Although please clue me in if I'm wrong, clearly games such as this aren't part of my repertoire.
This story is way too long already and I'm going to try and sum it up for you. I ended up sleeping with CS, but only after a painful period of waiting for him to make some kind of move whatsoever. The night it happened we actually talked about it and he STILL didn't make a decided move. And the thing is I didn't really want to sleep with him all that badly because I felt like the whole sex-between-friends thing wasn't going to work out. But in any event it happened anyways and sure enough I knew from the minute that it started that I shouldn't have and that it wasn't going to turn out well.
At this point I figured that he had gotten what he wanted so the late night porch chats would stop or at least break for a bit. Sadly this was not the case. The staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning continued. There was no more sex, there was no making out there wasn't anything after that other than back to talking. So again, I assumed that maybe he was interested in something more than just casual sex. And again, clearly this was another giant leap in thinking.
So on Sunday night he came over, to chat of course, and actually did try for the sex again. I said no because I had to go to sleep, and he got all upset and actually said to me "but I'm in the mood!"
"BUT I'M IN THE MOOD!"
Are you f*ing kidding me? What are you, 8? Are you going to sit down in the middle of the street and throw a temper tantrum now too? I mean what the FUCK?! So then he wouldn't talk to me all night or the next day. And by talk I mean TEXT because he's an immature asshole who won't talk on the phone unless absolutely necessary. Finally he did text and we got into it a little bit:
CS: "you've treated me like a dick since i met you. call me when you figure out how to be pleasant. i tried to be nice. thanks for being a pal."Me: "oh fuck off. i've been trying to figure out what you want for weeks until you made it very clear last night. sorry i can't do the meaningless sex that you're looking for."
CS: "thats what this bitchfest is about? you summed it up with your irish friend for me. no-strings attached was supposed to be a good thing...remember? don't play dumb either. you put this whole thing into motion. you played the jaded divorcee act the whole time. don't give me shit about it." (yes, he actually texted all of that. and no, i don't know what half of it means)
**At this point I stopped participating and went to sleep. I woke up to:
CS: "you want to say one hting and do something else then do that, don't villainize me though."
CS: "Thanks. now i'm too pissed off to sleep."
Yeah, OK. Wow. I still don't even know what to say to any of that. I'm not sure what half of it even means. But now I have to go because I've been at work for two hours and have done absolutely nothing. Not one thing. I signed in, went to get coffee and a bagel, started on this and haven't stopped.
Any and all thoughts and comments on this entry are required and appreciated. =)
Cheers.
dcdemocrat at 8:18 am
