October 11, 2005
I wish I could delete memories like I can delete entries...
Well this is obviously old news, but events with the Marine (Sean) went SO well that I actually deleted all but a couple entries about him. I'm so against deleting entries too, because that defeats the whole purpose of having a diary right? So that should say something - it was so horribly aweful that I deleted the entries. And you would think that since it was only a week-long affair that ended really poorly WELL over a month ago that I would be over it. Sadly this is indeed not the case. I don't talk about it anymore, except for the occasional mentioning that he is a complete ASSHOLE. But as true as that is (him being a huge fucking asshole that deserves to get hit by a bus and then spend a long time in agonizing pain), for reasons completely unconscionable to logic I still want him sometimes. What the fuck is that about? I am so screwed up sometimes.
Ok lets be honest, I'm so screwed up ALL the time...which brings me to my next point. I've temporarily (hopefully, dear God) fucked up one of my best friendships. I slept with my friend J (SO HOT, btw) and now things are weird and fucked up and we haven't talked and I'm really pissed at myself about it. This happened a week and a half ago after my failed attempt at the LSAT and we basically have had a whole two conversations since then, both of which have not been good. I pray to high heaven that it will pass and we will be back to normal again as soon as possible, but for some reason I'm still questioning whether that will happen this time. We've slept together before and it hasn't been weird or anything - so I am really really hoping that this will eventually be no different. If I lose this friendship right now its just going to be bloody fan-fucking-tastic. Sigh.
Well, I'm at work so I guess I should get to it. I broke down and joined MySpace.com finally. myspace.com/dcdemocrat I think is the page. I don't really know how it all works, so good luck with that. If I decide to continue writing I'll probably do it over there b/c there aren't any templates or shit to deal with. Who knows though...we all know that I have no consistency keeping up with this thing.
Ok, sorry this wasn't intersting or happy really. I'll try for that next time...
dcdemocrat at 11:26 am
